Jul 11, 2024
You know how you see these old houses that people think they can just move in and work on as they live there, but the floors are soft and are dangerously sagging downward, the windows are mostly broken and let in the elements, and if you plug the coffee pot in you’ll start a fire?And the neighbors don’t trust you because everyone who’s lived in the house before you has been a thief, a liar, or a murderer?
And the bodies are still in the basement, but you just put your moving boxes on top because, hey – you didn’t k!ll them, right? I mean, you haven’t set your neighbors house on fire or shot their dog – but you haven’t acknowledged that their fear is valid, and you just keep living life as if the roses aren’t molding on the front lawn and the grass isn’t full of stickers and hornet nests…The house used to be beautiful, you think. It was magnificent and the envy of every one in town.
No one talks about the quarters in the attic where they kept enslaved people in filth to raise their children and keep their homes clean, and work on their farms. Or the underground tunnels that were supposed to help them escape, but the previous owners ratted them out instead for some gold coins.But the house has good bones. It can be rebuilt, you just need to find the right contractor. But everyone’s complaining that one of contractors is a criminal, and the other should’ve retired.
The criminal talks too much and doesn’t actually know what he’s doing, and leaves before the job even starts – but still bills you well above the estimate. And the old man is a little creepy and does the “got-ur-nose” joke to other adults and it’s…off-putting. But you won’t consider other contractors because – well, that’s just how it’s done here!The rats have infested the kitchen in the blue polo shirts, and the White House cat just watches as they eat through the plaster.
And the family dog doesn’t seem to recognize this house as home, so he’s just shittin and pissin wherever he feels like it because no one can tell him how to behave.And the roof has begun to cave in. The parts that still have shingles, anyway. The rest is just a gaping hole.And the chimney flue is clogged with leaves and branches, so you know you shouldn’t start a fire.But the house needs so much work, and everyone is yelling at you to fix it because it can be fixed.
It should be fixed! Remember how beautiful and fine it was?But it was never beautiful. And it was never fine. And it was never safe. So – the question remains. Do you call the contractor? Or do you light a fire in the fireplace, and see what happens?
Old houses that are beyond repair, especially those with a sordid past, are often razed, buried, and rebuilt with new foundations.
Plug in the coffee pot.
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